5 Stages in a relationship that every couple experiences

 

There are five stages in a relationship that every couple experiences and goes through. So what are these five stages in a relationship? These five stages are:

 

1. The honeymoon period

It is the main period of romance when two people meet, and an initial attraction develops. This stage is defined by passion, love, and lust. This phase consumes the couple, where they are just into each other. Often the partners in this relationship get lost in each other and conclude that they have found the best partners. The couple has all the reasons to believe they are the perfect match. 

 

The couple spends much time with each other on calls, texts, and even physically. They find all the reason to be together at any cost, and this stage is apparently one of the most beautiful stages of all. 

 

In this stage, emotions dominate, and rationality takes a back seat. The partners get addicted to each other and present their best selves while ignoring the bad part of their partners. 

 

1. The denial phase

 

It is the second stage in a relationship where you finally start to notice the difference between you and your partner. When you start seeing the differences, you begin to doubt if you are in the right relationship and with the right person. It all leads to resentment and anger. And then power struggles take dominance. 

 

So this stage is full of doubt at first and then denial that you can be in the wrong relationship or with the wrong person.

 

1. The frustration stage

 

This is the third stage in a relationship, where both the partners on one of the partners may feel disillusioned and silently drift apart or get frustrated. As a result, the fights increase, and so the differences. Even the slightest issue or problem can accentuate the fire and lead to big fights. In this stage, the couples are prone to big fights and may make up their minds to drift apart. 

 

At this stage, the couple also may have a distant memory of the first stage of attraction or honeymoon.

 

1. The decision stage

At this stage, the couples are at their breaking points and are at a decision stage concerning their relationships. The partners become emotionally, physically distant, and erotically distant. A few typical signs of this stage are leaving the house for hours, moving out of the house for a few days, seeking a lot of space from your partner, and emotional breakdown. It all can be followed by indifference in attitude.  

 

Most relationships break at this stage as one of the partners decides to move out or look out for someone new or even emotional support outside the marriage. 

 

But one word of wisdom here is to use this time to work out the differences rather than contemplating how to break away. 

 

1. The mature love

Not many couples reach this stage of wholehearted love, where the relationship is evolved, mature, fulfilling, and rewarding. The couples may experience individualism, self-awareness, and self-discovery. They can finally be who they are and yet be supported by their partners despite their differences. And it is a real relationship stage to wait for. The couples work with each other, listen, and are sensitive to each other. 

 

In this stage, the couples ultimately settle down, relax and live a life of comfort, companionship, and life-long commitment. 

Why should you be putting yourself first

 

Ask yourself if you put yourself first before anything else. Ask yourself if you feel bad when you say no. Ask yourself if it is selfish to make yourself a priority. And you will know what I am talking about.

 

We are wired to put others before ourselves, as this is what society has taught us. While putting others before yourself is good, putting yourself before others is even better.

 

We are all taught to live by the mantra of putting others first. But if you do it as a habit by overlooking your own needs and desires, this can lead to resentment and anger. This mindset can lead to a lot of frustration. You may feel trapped and may feel unhappy. It can be really tough to get going when your own tanks are running empty because you have ignored your needs, desires, and internal voices to put yourself first. 

 

So, we do our daily life chores, attend to others' needs, put ourselves last, and ultimately neglect the most important person in our lives. And that's you! 

 

But why do we keep doing this? 

 

The main reason is the faulty belief system that teaches us to put others first. And it is especially true for women who have been raised for ages with this mindset. They sacrifice their lives, families, friends, jobs, and whatnot for marriage and children. And the male member roams free without an iota of guilt.

 

Regardless of the gender at hand, you need to ask yourself, how do you feel? And if you are tired of attending to others' demands and needs, it is time to put a full stop to it. It is time to learn to say no. 

 

When you keep pushing yourself too hard and live a life to please others, you ignore your own desires. And ultimately, you run dry of your energy. Putting too much emphasis on people and their happiness never works as people and their needs never end. The more your give, the more they expect. There is no end to it. And when you give them a lot of your time and energy, and then you say no, they get angry and make you feel guilty! 

 

Wait! You did a lot for them many times. But now you have decided tio take a pause, and they are getting angry? Yes, this is what you get. When you start putting yourself first, people do not take it positively. They may say a few things like:

 

• you are selfish 
• you were never like this
• you have changed
• you are not doing a good thing
• you do not deserve my friendship and much more

 

There would be a lot of complaints. In fact, many of your close ones will even leave or guilt-trap you. So, you did a lot of things for them in the past and gave them your time, energy, and resources just to see this?

 

It can be really disappointing to see such a thing coming from people you love. 

 

But there would be people who loved you and wanted the best for you. These people would be more than happy to support you when you take a stand for yourself and your well-being by putting yourself first. These people would be your bedrock-solid friends and family. 

 

So, it is always good to put yourself first before anyone else. Ultimately you have to spend most of your time with the most crucial person in your life.

How to deal with office politics and come out as a winner

 

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word office politics? Is it flattery, backstabbing, or even office gossip to make your way up by getting a promotion and bypassing your colleagues? 

 

Yes, office politics are real; almost all companies and organizations are affected by workplace politics. Office politics are a harsh reality of workplace life that is sometimes very difficult to break. 

 

So what is office politics? 

 

Office politics is the workplace dynamics with a negative definition attached to it. When company employees use informal networks or channels and unofficial power centers in the workplace setting to benefit their career or position in the office, it is called office politics. 

 

Office politics can take various shapes, such as backstabbing a coworker or gossiping about an employee to tarnish their image so that they can't get a promotion. Another example is someone sucking up to your boss to get a promotion by bypassing other colleagues who deserve the promotion instead. 

 

Workplace politics can be destructive and make you demotivated and feel under-rewarded. It can therefore cause a sudden decline in your performance. A person victim of office politics can also decide to quit the job as he feels cheated and poorly treated by the office system.

 

So, it is clear that workplace politics is a harsh reality of corporate life, but it can be dealt with if you handle it tactfully.  

 

So let us figure out how to deal with office politics and emerge as a victor!

 

The first step is to analyze how political your organization is. All offices are political to some extent, but you must determine how political your workplace is and act accordingly.  

 

1. Analyze the power centers 

 

First, you should analyze the organizational hierarchy to understand the formal structure and power flow. Take some time to observe the same and determine who all the people who call the shots. You may be surprised to discover that most political power lies not in formal job roles and titles but elsewhere. And these are the primary influencers that you should be aware of. 

 

 

1. Understand the informal power networks

 

All organizations have informal networks that can yield authority. So, now you know who calls the shots, you can use these informal networks to know them better and even come in their good books. 

 

1. Build meaningful connections

 

Once you understand the informal power networks and interaction flow in the organization, start to build your social network in the office and with people you think can benefit you. Try to connect to these politically influential people and work your way up to them. But always ensure you are not flattering them too much, or you will be exposed. 

 

1. Neutralize the negative office politics in the workplace

 

Now that you know how the power dynamics work in your organization and have some good social connections be aware of your surroundings and try to neutralize the negative office politics by not being part of it. Make all attempts to make the workplace environment more positive than adding fuel to the fire. 

 

For example, if you hear sensational gossip about your manager or a coworker, determine the credibility of the source of the rumor and think before you further pass it down to someone else. 

 

It is always advised to remain professional and not spread gossip. You should choose carefully the secrets you are going to reveal. 

Stop comparing to others- Do these five things instead

 

We all have this habit of comparing ourselves to others, especially in today's world, where everyone shows their best versions on social media. However, many of us try not to compare and compete but sometimes it is impossible to avoid comparing ourselves to others. 

 

You may often find yourself making statements such as "I wish I had that kind of money to holiday every day, or I wish I could live in Alberni street downtown Vancouver."

 

This thing is often unconscious, but we can train our brains to stop comparing ourselves to others. And it is essential to prepare ourselves to stop comparing. When we do that, we motivate ourselves to be a better version while avoiding negative thoughts when we indulge in comparisons. 

 

Yes, too much comparison leads to negative thoughts, unhappiness, and eventually to low self-esteem. And then you realize that you become frustrated because you feel that you are not good enough. 

 

So how to stop comparing yourself to others?

 

To break this habit of making comparisons, you should focus on improving yourself and boosting your confidence. It would help if you reminded yourself to stop making unfavorable and unfair comparisons. So how to go about it?

 

Here are a few things you should do to take the initiative and stop comparing yourself to others.

 

1. Understand what your triggers are, and then avoid those triggers. Trust me; this works very well. The first step is to list down what makes you feel low and puts you into the comparison mode. What is it that makes you cynical and puts your self-esteem down? It is not just social media; it can also be other situations and people. Try to find the people who try to put you down, intimidate you, or make you feel inadequate. When you realize this, you can take steps to avoid such situations and people.
2. Avoid spending too much time on social media, as most comparisons start from social media. The main purpose of social media is to keep in touch with friends and family, express your opinion and personality, and even be updated on recent events. But it can soon become a competition with people flaunting the best part of their lives. So, do it in moderation. When you consume too much beauty and lifestyle content from those Instagram models, it reduces your self-worth. So, the first step is to unfollow people who make you go into a comparison zone. 
3. Always remember people always flaunt the best aspect of their lives, be it financial, personal, emotional, or physical. You may come across people who seem to be the happiest of all and who fault the most extravagant lifestyle, but you don't know what the reality is. So, you start to make comparisons based on what you see and not on what is happening behind the scenes. You have to remember that everyone has their own struggles. You may not be financially very stable, but you may be the luckiest of all in your relationship dynamics. And you never know if your friend who flaunts the luxury lifestyle is jealous of your relationship status of the things. So, stop comparing yourself to others financially, as money doesn't buy permanent happiness. It can buy people temporary joy but not long-term or eternal bliss.
4. Another thing to break this habit of making a comparison is to count on your blessings. Once you start to count your blessings, you will feel abundant and feel grateful for what you have in life. You may wish to buy things that others have, but when you count on your blessings, you will realize that others wish to have a lifestyle that you are leading. 
5. And the last tip to break this habit of making comparisons is to use comparison as a tool of motivation that has the power to keep you going. So, instead of getting envious of others' achievements or wealth, focus on how they amassed these things and then take steps to achieve them. When you get inspired rather than being jealous, you become a better person. 

 

So these are the top 5 things that will help you break this habit of making comparisons. 

How To Reach When Your Friend Comes Out To You

 Coming out as a member of the queer community can be quite a challenge for your friend, but it can equally be taxing on you as well. Coming out can be a life event for your LGBTQ friend as they would have waited for a long to come out to you and confide in you. And you have become a glorious recipient of this coming out confession. It is normal for you to undergo a shock when your friend comes out to you, as it can surprise you, and you will take a while to let this feeling sink in. 

 

You can simply say go and deal with it, or I don't know what to say, but it is the last thing you want to say when your friend comes out to you. But this approach can upset your friend, and it will be an insensitive thing to do when someone comes out to you. 

 

So what to say when someone comes out to you?

 

There are a few things that you should say when your friend opens up and confesses in front of you about their orientation. And you should choose your words carefully, as this can be a life event or a significant moment in your friend's life, and it would have taken a lot of courage and guts to come out finally. 

 

Don't say you always knew about them; it will be like passing judgment on them. And it is not about you. It is about them! So when you say you had a hint or doubt, you are making it about yourself. Instead, it would help if you thanked them for coming out to you. 

 

Or you can say: I am glad you came out to me and confided in me. It will give your friend confidence in you and reassure them of your friendship. They will also feel confident about their decision and will be glad to have you in their life. They will also feel good to know your reaction as it will make them feel good about the right decision they made to come out to you. 

 

You can reassure them and tell them things will be alright and that you still respect them and support them, whatever so ever. Also, you can ask them about their challenges and journey and ask if they need help from you. You can also try to understand their issues and pain points and enlighten yourself on the LGBTQ community. 

 

Always remember not to ask them if your friend fancies you or will hit on you. It will be a very cliche thing to do and can even cost you your friendship. Also, do not tell them that it all does not matter; as for your friend, it is a life event, and his orientation does matter. 

 

Another thing to do is to ask them about their partner or friends and make time for them. You can tell them that you are willing to talk more about the issue if your friend is willing to do so. If they are not, you can simply ask them to take their sweet time to open up. 

 

Okay, but sometimes the situation can be more challenging. Your friend might come out to you over text. So, how to react in such a situation? What to say when someone comes out over text?   

 

In such a case, when someone like your friend comes out over the text or on call, you should take some time to respond. But when you receive such a text, tell them it's okay and tell them you will get back to them as you are busy. You might need time to process this feeling and comprehend how to respond as you are shocked. But then, after some time, you should call them or text them to meet and discuss face to face. It will not disappoint your friend; you can also buy time to let this feeling sink in. 

 

So, these are a few things you should do when your friend comes out to over text or otherwise. Be with them like you were with them like ever before! 

 

5 Signs It's Time To Let Go of A Relationship

 

We all want to have an intimate, meaningful, and authentic relationship with our partners that is not only fulfilling but also respectful. But as you all know, love relationships are complicated and messy. They can sometimes be very fulfilling, but at times they can even become toxic. 

 

We often clean up the mess and make sacrifices and compromises to make the relationships work. But sometimes, relationships reach a point beyond repair; therefore, we need to learn to let go of them.

 

Many of you want to work it out! But working it out can also mean suppressing your true feelings, making undue adjustments, and sacrificing and tolerating things you do not fundamentally agree with. 

It causes dissonance within you and puts you in a dilemma to choose between yourself or your relationship. And it puts you into pain, conflicts, and differences with yourself. 

 

When you are inauthentic to yourself, you cause yourself to suffer, and this pain can easily outweigh your desire to "work it out" later in life. 

 

So how to know when to cut the cords and move on? How to end your relationship is one thing but knowing when to let go of a relationship is another. It is the most challenging thing to spot. 

 

So, let's go and understand some of the best signs that hint toward moving on. 

 

5 signs it's time to let go of a relationship?

 

Letting go of someone you love can be heartbreaking and discouraging. But holding back onto a relationship that has become abusive, toxic, disrespectful, or holds you back from being your authentic self can be more dangerous to your well-being. 

 

Therefore, watch out for these signs and understand that sometimes it is wiser to let go than to hold on. 

 

So, how to know when to let go of a relationship? Here are the five significant signs you should watch out for. 

 

1. Emotional and physical abuse

 

If you feel your relationship has become verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive, there is no point in staying back. If you remain in such relationships even after this, it can worsen and snatch away the minutest self-esteem you are left with. As long as you stay in an abusive relationship, you give the abuser more reasons to abuse you. 

 

2.     Consistent dishonesty and deceit

 

Most love relationships can survive a few occasional incidences of lying or dishonesty, and some can survive these odds with counselling and healing. But consistent dishonesty, cheating, and disloyalty suggest some more profound values, character, and integrity issues that can never be changed. 

 

So, if you have confronted your partner often but to no avail, it is time to move on. Repeated deceit will only take away your respect for your partner and yourself. 

 

3.     Emotional unavailability

 

If your partner is always emotionally distant, unavailable, and not ready to communicate whenever you need them, you need to set it right. Your partner should make time for you and your needs, communicate openly, and be emotionally available to you. But if you have raised this concern many times and yet there is no change in your partner's behaviour, it is time for you to find someone in your life willing to offer more. 

 

One-sided efforts or relationships seldom work, and in all probability, if you feel you are one pushing this relationship and not even acknowledged for the same, please move on. 

 

4.     Unrealistic expectations

 

It is usual for people to have expectations, and in relationships, there are a lot of expectations. Your partner may have expectations from you, and sometimes you can't honour them. 

 

Perhaps they want you to do everything as per their choice, such as raising children, your political or religious views, managing your home, and so on. Some people also have expectations that you spend more time with them or be available for them all the time. 

 

But if you find these things are not acceptable and you are compromising on your desires and well-being, maybe it is time to rethink the relationship you are holding onto. 

 

5.     Loss of love and affection

 

Do you feel that either your lover or you have fallen out of love, and there is only little affection or intimacy left? Love is a significant factor that keeps the relationship alive, and when it goes missing, the foundation of your relationship becomes weak. If that's the case, your connection can wither away with time sooner or later.

 

Maybe you are staying together, are in a relationship of convenience, or because you do not want your children to suffer. But if the romantic element has gone missing, it is time for you to revive your relationship or let it go, whatever works! 

 

So, therapy can work for you if you are married or in a relationship for a long period. But if you are dating and see your love dimming with time, you should embrace the truth and move on. 

 

So, there are a few undeniable signs that give you a hint that it is time to move on.