7 Things that are most important in any relationship

 

What is a relationship without efforts from both partners? All relationships require commitment and conscious efforts from both partners to keep them going. Some relationships last longer than anticipated, and some falter within a few months. Why? The answer lies in understanding the most important things in a relationship and giving the same to your partner.

 

So, what are those things? Is it love, respect, commitment, loyalty, freedom of choice, etc.? Many factors define the most important things in a relationship you should always ask for. 

 

All relationships start from love, and love keeps them going. But even the smallest of friction and troubles can wither them away. So, apart from love, a few other things are required in a relationship to make it work optimally. To know about these things, read on and make your relationship successful by asking for these things. 

 

1. Loyalty

Loyalty is one of the essential things in a relationship, especially when you and your partner agree to be in a monogamous relationship. In such cases, loyalty becomes a key aspect and a fundamental rule. 

 

2.     Trust

We all trust people who love, and we love people who we trust. Trust and love go hand in hand. Any relationship that you can't trust will eventually break. Trust makes any relationship strong, and when there is trust, there is peace and security. And then there is happiness. 

 

No one wants a relationship where you can't trust your partner and constantly fret over trust issues. 

 

3.     Happiness

Happiness is the most important thing you should ask for in a relationship as it is the reason for our existence. They say happiness is a choice, so you should choose to be happy. But it is sometimes not easy to choose happiness when you are in a toxic relationship. If such is the case, your happiness is your right, and it is an important thing to ask for. 

 

And why not happiness is essential for long relationships, making them fulfilling and fruitful. It is not your partner's sole responsibility to keep you happy; it is also your responsibility to make yourself comfortable. But if your relationship is not giving you happiness somehow, ask for it. 

 

4.     Respect

Your respect is as important as anything else in a relationship. Like love, loyalty, trust, and happiness, your respect is something you should always seek for. Respect is the outcome of a healthy relationship, and all partners in a relationship must respect each other and their thoughts. 

 

When two people come together, they bring contrasting thoughts, and hence there will always be a difference of opinion. So, absolute respect comes when both partners respect each other and the difference in views. 

 

 

5.     Emotional support

We all go through emotional turmoil, ups and downs, and a roller coaster of emotions. But what makes it special is that your partner is part of your journey, sitting right beside you and comforting you. So, regardless of how strong and weak the person is, everyone needs emotional support, and if you are not getting it in your relationship, you should not shy away from asking for it. 

 

6.     Compromise and sacrifice

Now, this is the most important thing that all relationships need. Both partners must sacrifice and compromise a few things to keep the relationship alive and get it going. When there is love, you do not think twice before giving up something you would like to keep your relationship going. But then there are things you should never sacrifice for a relationship. 

 

Having said that, if all the things are fine and your partner is also equally compromising and sacrificing, then it is one thing to ask for in a relationship. 

 

7.     Independence of thoughts

What is a relationship when your partner does not respect your independence of thoughts and your freedom? Independent freedom is essential for any relationship to thrive. You deserve to be respected for who you are and for your choices. And your partner should support all your decisions and stand beside you. These all things help you gain confidence, retain your unique personality and ultimately keep you happy. 

So independence of thoughts is your right, and your relationships shall not take it away from you. 

 

So, these are a few things in a relationship that you should always demand from them. 

How to deal with inconsistent people in life

 

We live in a world where there is no shortage of inconsistent people in our lives. We can meet inconsistent people everywhere and most often in our personal relationships. Inconsistent people who are a part of our close circles are the most dangerous ones as they can cause a lot of damage to us. 

 

Inconsistency in relationships is never good. But they are unavoidable too. Inconsistent behaviour is not a good sign in any relationship as it can keep you confused. When you meet people, make them your friends or start dating them, you expect them to be consistent with you with their actions and behaviours so that you can rely on them. And it is what we least expect from our relationships. But some people, even after you give them everything, are not consistent with you and keep you confused.

 

Take, for example, you meet a friend of yours from the gym in the mall and she ignores you to your dismay. You will not like this behaviour and you will be confused if it was intentional or by mistake. If it was by mistake, you can give the person some benefit of the doubt, but if it was intentional you will feel insulted. So what to do now? How do you deal with inconsistent people in life? 

 

You can do four things to deal with an inconsistent person and free yourself of all the doubt.

 

1. If your friend is ignoring you out of a sudden and you feel her behaviour is inconsistent off lately, you should ask them directly what's this all about. Tell them that you have noticed that sometimes they are good with you and sometimes they are ignoring you and it is giving you a mixed signal. When you tell them that you are noticing this behaviour they will understand that you will not accept it anymore. So, they will try not to repeat with you if they want to keep your friendship alive. 
2. If your friend ignores your complaint regarding their inconsistent behaviour and continues to do so, it means they are intentionally doing it and that you need to be cautious of them. There could be various reasons behind their consistent behaviour, and you would never know of them until you confront them and they chose to tell you the truth. So, it would be better if you do not stretch yourself with finding the reason but focus on moving on with your life. Consistent people will never give you the security and confidence to move forward with them. 
3. The third thing is to ask them that you are not liking their inconsistent behaviour and that you need your clarity now. You have to tell them that it is not okay and you need to take a call. So, when you give them an ultimatum, they will either become consistent or continue to be inconsistent. But in any case, you will know the reality.
4. And finally, you should deal with an inconsistent person by moving on. When you decide to move on, you take a stand for yourself. And it is the best thing you can do as it will give a strong signal to others that you will not tolerate this kind of deviated behaviour. 

 

So, these are four ways you can deal with inconsistent people in life and make a positive space for yourself and your well-being. Inconsistent people will not add any value to your life. So, it is better to let them go. 

Are you feeling bored and lonely? Here are eight things to do

 

People often feel bored and lonely without any apparent reason. It may be a feeling of general boredom due to the monotonous schedule. Or it may be due to the absence of meaningful connections in life. So, what are your reasons for feeling bored and lonely?

 

But you are not the only one feeling bored and lonely and struggling with feelings of isolation. As per the research, 61% of Americans feel lonely and alone. It means the problem is more widespread than you think. While technology has made it easier for us to connect with others using chats, texts, calls, video calls, voice notes, etc., people are feeling lonelier than ever. 

 

However, the feelings of boredom and loneliness are not about being alone but a state of mind. So, what does it signify? What does it means when you are feeling bored and lonely? In all probability, these feelings hint that you are missing meaningful and deep connections or interactions in life. As a result, you often feel lonely even in a crowd. 

 

Loneliness is never good. It can cause a lot of damage to a person's mental and emotional health. A study shows loneliness can lead to hypertension, depression, weakened immune system, and even heart attack. On the contrary, people who feel connected are happier and keep these problems at bay.  

 

So how to deal with boredom and loneliness?

 

1. Break the monotony 

The best way to beat depression and loneliness is to do something exciting to break the monotony. For example, you can plan to travel, and there are various benefits of travelling. Or you can surprise yourself by making a random plan to eat outside or watch a movie.

 

2.     Take care of yourself

Another way to break the feelings of boredom and loneliness is to indulge in self-care practices like getting into a massage, spa, and some skin rituals. Or you can also enjoy your me-time and read a book or write. 

 

3.     Reignite an old hobby

When you feel bored and lonely, you can very well take up an old hobby like painting, dancing, writing, cooking, blogging, or cycling. A recent study has shown that cycling and other physical activity boost your mood and destroy loneliness. 

 

4.     Find an interest group

You can also consider joining various interest groups that consist of like-minded people. When you join an interest group that shares the same interests and values, it becomes easier for you to connect with them and spend some quality time.

 

5.     Strike conversations with people around you

When you go outside, you meet a lot of people around you, like your neighbors, the bell boy, and the counter lady at the departmental store, to name a few. You can greet them and ask them how they are doing. When you ask them about themselves and how they are doing, they will also reciprocate and check back on you. It will eventually help you beat your loneliness and boredom.

 

6.     Adopt a pet

If you live alone or often feel alone, you can consider adopting a furry dog or cat and parent them. When you become a pet parent, you spend a lot of time with them and take care of their essential needs like preparing food, grooming, evening walks, and whatnot. And it will keep you busy and keep your loneliness at bay.

 

7.     Go out with friends

Okay, so this goes without saying. If you feel bored and lonely, you can reconnect with your friends. When you reconnect with your friends, you talk about a lot of fond memories and hence beat your loneliness. 

 

Another thing you can do is reconnect with your family and cousins. When you check with them, you keep your channels of communication open. And when the communication channel is open, you get a lot of invitations to social gatherings. All these things will help your keep your boredom at bay.

 

8.     Be positive and hopeful

Hope is your biggest strength. So whenever you feel lonely and bored and feel disoriented, be positive and hopeful. When you are optimistic, you attract positivity in life, and it attracts positive people in life. 

 

So these are a few things you can do to keep your loneliness and boredom at bay. 

4 Sacrifices you should never make in a relationship

 Maintaining a successful relationship with the person you love can be the most challenging, especially if you are the only one making sacrifices. A healthy and long-lasting relationship often involves both partners making sacrifices to make the relationship last. And it is a part of companionship to sacrifice and compromise to keep your relationship alive. But there are sacrifices that you should never make in your relationship, regardless of the love you hold for the person you are with. 

 

Being in love should never mean that you give parts of yourself that are important to you and that make you who you are. It rather should mean to let you be the way you are. You are an independent person, and so is your partner. Therefore, both have to respect each other's individuality and be willing to make things work together to keep the relationship going rather than forcing your partner always to make compromises and sacrifices. 

 

You should be aware of the difference between compromise and sacrifice. While compromise is mutual, sacrifice is one-sided. And if you are the only one making sacrifices and your partner does not even acknowledge it, it is a sign of a significant problem. And it would be best if you addressed the same. 

 

So what are the things you should never sacrifice for a relationship? 

 

1. Your goals

 

You are an individual with dreams, aspirations, and goals that keep you motivated in life. And if you are dating someone who does not support you for what you aspire to achieve or become, it is not worth even entering such a relationship. Your goal is your right, and no one shall take it away from you. The only person who should decide your goals is you. You should not give this right to anyone else, regardless of the stage of your relationship. 

 

It is not worth giving up your dream and being with someone who wants you to give up your dreams. 

 

2.     Your independence

 

Some things are sacrosanct, like your independence and freedom. Being in a relationship often requires making decisions together, but it doesn't mean you shed every privacy of yours and make decisions by being dependent on the other person. It would be best if you never gave up on your ability to choose, decide for yourself, and do things independently.

 

Your relationship is a bond between two people who make decisions jointly while retaining their independence. So, do not let anyone take it away from you.

 

3.     Your friendships

 

Friends are an essential part of our lives. They are our support system, and socializing with them can actually be good for our well-being and mental health. When you are in a relationship, you might not be able to see your friends as much as you want, but whenever you meet, you meet like you never parted. It's always refreshing and rejuvenating. And your partner should allow you to spend time with your friends and loved ones. 

 

However, if your partner makes you feel bad about spending time with your friends and family without them and make you feel guilty about it, it is a sign of toxic behavior that you should deal with immediately.

 

A healthy relationship is one where your partner will never ask you to sacrifice your personal life with your family and friends. It is an unsaid rule; if your partner acts otherwise, it is a red flag. 

 

4.     You hobbies

 

It is human to have hobbies and interests that make you feel alive and happy. Everyone has hobbies and interests that they should religiously pursue. And your partner should be the first person to help you find your interest and hobby. But if your partner makes you feel bad about devoting time to your hobbies and interests and it makes you feel bad and guilty, it is not a healthy trait, and you should stop. A healthy partner is the one who, even though they personally are not interested, motivates you to make time for your hobbies and interests so that they can see you happy.

 

So, these are the four things you should never sacrifice for a relationship regardless of how much in love you are.  

Are you a gay man and married to a woman

 

Are you a gay man and married to a woman? Are you suffering in silence, agony and pain alone? You don't know what to do, and you feel stuck in life? But do not worry, a lot of gay men go through this and you are not alone in this. 

 

Many times gay men enter into straight marriages because they do not have any other option. For example, I know of a friend of mine who married a woman as he couldn't find a committed man for himself. Another friend of mine married a woman because he wanted to have kids, and with men, he can't have his own children. And he was not okay with the idea of surrogacy. I also know of men who entered into mixed-orientation marriages because they couldn't come out and did so under parental pressure. 

 

So if you are a gay man and married to a woman, what your reasons were? You need to find out what was the reason you married a woman, and then you need to think if that reason is still valid. When you understand yourself, ask yourself if this is the way you want to spend your entire life, or if you want to move on and live a life by being true to yourself? 

 

You will get a lot of answers with this simple exercise. Another thing to ask yourself is: are you now proud of yourself for who you are? A lot of queer men are ashamed of their sexuality and hide in the closet for their entire lives. But it makes them aloof and scared. These men suffer alone and are very harsh on them. It is not required. In fact, there is nothing wrong to be homosexual and you should be proud of who you are. When you are proud of yourself, you can take a stand for yourself. And you can live life the way you want. 

 

Another thing to ask if you are a gay man married to a woman is that does your wife know about your sexuality. In all probability, she would be known but she is not vocal or sure about it. Even if you are sure she doesn't know about your sexuality she would have already questioned is my husband gay.

 

Anyways, the problem is not that. The problem is that you are being untruthful to your wife and to yourself foremost. And it is not right. Not for you and not for your wife and family. Things will go worse with time your wife figures it all out later on in life. 

 

One thing to consider here is that are you being honest with your wife? Are you sure you not sleeping around with other men? And if you are sleeping with other men, you are not only breaking her trust but also putting her at risk. Is this justified?

 

So all the gay men who are married to men, please stop doing this. Own up your sexuality, and come out of your closet. I am not asking you to break your marriage but asking you to be honest and upfront about it. Your wife deserves to know. Then you and her can both come together and take a call. If she or you or both of you want to move on, it is okay. It will eventually liberate you and your wife. 

 

So exiting your marriage is best the solution. This way you can be honest with yourself, your family and your wife. Also, it will give your wife to build a life of her own that she deserves. And you can live a life with your boyfriend that you always dreamt of. 

How to deal with inconsistent people and their inconsistent behaviour

 

We often come across people who are not consistent with the way they deal with us on a regular basis. Sometimes they are very kind and warm to us and other times they just ignore us making us wonder what has gone wrong. Inconsistent people not only confuse us but also make us feel disregarded. It is not a good feeling when someone you are fond of ignores you for a few days and then comes back. 

 

Inconsistency in relationships is never good and no one tolerates inconsistent people. So why should you? No matter how much you despise being in a relationship with inconsistent people, you will come across people who display inconsistent behaviour. For example, you would have known a friend of yours who you met one day and she was so warm and kind and then the next day she ignored you. Or do you relate to an incident when a person you met and you got close to them pretty soon, only to realise they chose to give you a cold shoulder when you saw them next? Also, do you remember your last boyfriend who was always inconsistent when at home, not available to call or text but when he used to be with you, you felt like the best woman in this world only to see this pattern repeat? 

 

I had a friend who made me her rebound. She broke up with her boyfriend and found respite in me. And then there were bouts of incidences when she wanted to get back to her ex, and I felt like no one in her life. And the very next day I was again her world. It kept me confused and prevented me from moving on with my life. I even said no to a few people who I was interested in just for her. But she chooses to remain inconsistent, and I kept on losing my sanity and patience till one day I realise that this relationship full of inconsistency is not leading me anywhere. So I decided to quit. But by this time, I had lost a lot of time, energy and patience in life. 

 

So how to deal with inconsistent people? 

 

The first way to deal with inconsistent people is to give them some chance. You should tell them that they are coming across as very inconsistent off lately and if they are fine. Sometimes, people are not aware that they are being inconsistent, and their inconsistency is not intentional. If it is the case, they will improve, and you don't have to complain again. 

 

The second way is to wait for them to come and interact with you as the last time they ignored you. This way these people will get a message that you have taken their weird behaviour seriously, and you won't be making any more attempts to speak to them. So if they value you, they will reach out to you. 

 

The third way is to simply tell them that you are done with their inconsistent behaviour and you won't be taking it anymore. So, if they want to continue with you, they need to change this behaviour of theirs and be consistent. 

 

And the fourth way is to finally let them go if nothing is working out and their inconsistent behaviour is making you lose your sanity. 

5 useful tips for positive relationships at work

 

All of us want to succeed professionally by working hard and by coming across as the best employee. But real success comes only when we are not just good at our work but also in managing our workplace relationships positively. So regardless of your profession, developing and managing effective relationships at work is your key to success. Whether you are a start-up owner, independent consultant or corporate professional a lot of your professional success comes from how you manage your professional relationships. 

 

Forming meaningful relationships at work is as important as in your social life as we work with humans and our emotions are the same. Here are 5 tips for positive relationships at work that will ensure the best success for you.  

 

1. Empathy

Empathy is a life skill and you should learn how to practice empathy to navigate your work relationships and turn them all positive. Empathy is the ability to put yourself in another person's shoes, feel what that person is feeling and then advise or take actions accordingly. When you practice empathy at the workplace, you become sensitive to the needs of the other person and take actions that make you a better decision maker and eventually a better leader.

 

2.     Resolving conflicts

Conflicts are inevitable, and it is not in your hands. However, you can choose how you can solve those conflicts amicably by being constructive than destructive. Here again, empathy and compassion come into the picture. If you are compassionate and empathetic towards your co-workers you will be able to effectively manage the conflicts and hence form meaningful relationships at work. 

 

3.     A professional conduct

Professional conduct such as being on time, helping others when in need, not poking a nose in other's work unnecessarily and giving feedback in a positive manner will help you garner respect at the workplace. And this respect will eventually help you make more deep and meaningful relationships at the workplace. 

 

4.     Going beyond more than work relationships

When we are at the workplace, we often forget that the workplace is also a social setting and not an emotionless machine. So, we need to be cognizant of human emotions and the most basic ones such as the need to bond, share and express. Even at work, we need to socialise with our co-workers and connect beyond just professional matters. It is important to go out for coffee, and lunches and throw informal house parties to get to know each other better. When you do that you realise it is much easier to work with co-workers who are also now your friends. 

 

5.     Accommodating the difference in opinions

Different people have different thought processes and different opinions. You may not agree with them and they may not agree with your opinion and it can either become a breeding ground for animosity and suspicion or ground for peace and acceptance, the choice is yours. The person who is accommodative of others, their thought processes and their decisions is the one who comes across as mature and professional. And in the office setting, such a skill always helps you shift people in your favour. 

 

These are the five tips that will help you forge meaningful relationships at the workplace and will ensure your success. Do you have other tips that you think may come in handy when forming meaningful relationships at work? Please mention the same in the comments section below. 

signs of a weak-minded person

 

Some people are emotionally stronger than others and some are emotionally weaker than others. So what is it that makes these people strong-minded or weak-minded? What is it that makes these people strong personalities or weak personalities?

 

There are many differences between the two kinds of personalities. The first notable difference is that strong-minded people stay true to themselves at all times. While weak-minded people are always living their lives pleasing others. But hold on, there are more differences between them and we have listed these differences below:

 

1. You always seek validation from others

 

If you are someone who is always seeking external validation from others regarding your actions, decisions, and choices, it is a clear sign you are not confident enough in your own choices. 

 

We all sometimes seek external validation and it is perfectly natural to do so. But when it becomes your habit, it shows that you have some insecurities that are stemming from within. 

 

So if you are always fretting over what people think of you and whether they will approve of you or not, it is a strong sign that you are a weak-minded person. 

 

2.     You play the victim card

There are two kinds of people: those who have been a real victim of unfortunate events and experiences and those who always embrace a victim mentality. So, those people who are always playing the victim card to seek validation and sympathy or to prove any points are nothing but one of the signs of a weak-minded person. 

 

3.     You always soak in self-pity

You know what that self-pity is a choice and is one of the most potent signs of weak personalities. Involving in self-pity is awful and it can easily become a habit. The more you practice it, the more addictive it becomes. 

 

We all go through misfortune, and there is nothing strange in that. But if you obsess with your misfortune, and start engaging in self-pity it makes you weak at its best. 

 

It is certainly one of the strongest traits of weak-minded personalities. 

 

4.     You are jealous and envious of others

No one is perfect. You will always find someone better than you, more successful than you, stronger than you and healthier than you. So either you get inspired, or you get envious and jealous. There is no end to jealousy as it can be devastating. 

 

So, if you are someone who is jealous and envious, it shows you are insecure and not sure about yourself. And too much jealousy and envy indicate just one thing that you are a weak-minded person and that you need to let go of jealousy. 

 

Jealousy in a relationship is most often an indication of your weak personality, 

 

5.     You are not able to forgive others

One of the strongest virtues of strong-minded people is their ability to accept and move on by forgiving themselves, their past, and others. Forgiveness is not easy and comes only with patience and self-confidence. You need to be mentally strong and emotionally resilient to practice forgiveness. 

 

A person who is not able to forgive themselves, their past and others is definitely a weak-minded person. 

 

6.     You often blame others

Are you someone who always plays the pass the buck game and loves to shrug off the responsibilities or blame others for your own shortcomings? If yes, then you are definitely a weak-minded person. 

 

Strong-minded people often take charge of their lives and take responsibility for their own actions rather than blaming others for their actions. They focus on the solutions and overcoming a tough situation rather than blaming others for their actions.

 

7.     You have no goal

Strong-minded people have their life goals in place, and they motivate themselves by thriving to live those goals. But if you are someone who is always procrastinating or has no goals at all, then it is a strong sign that you are a weak-minded person. 

 

8.     You can't say no

Now, this is the biggest difference between a strong-minded person and a weak-minded person. Strong-minded people know when to say no and when to say yes. And they are very clear about it.

 

But a weak-minded person is just the opposite. A weak-minded person finds it very very difficult to say no and often says yes when they want to say no.