Are you in a sexless marriage? Know when to walk away!

 

Sexless marriages are quite common nowadays. Hectic work schedules, endless household chores, familial commitments and conflicts in a relationship can be the cause of a sexless marriage. All these things can kill the spark in a marriage and make the partners drift apart. And as a result, platonic marriage is born. Yes, it is no wonder to see marriages that are becoming to be platonic in nature. Sexless marriages are not healthy and are a cause of concern. Marriages are not meant to be platonic, they are meant to connect the partners physically, emotionally and spiritually. So, if you are someone who is in a sexless marriage, it is a cause of concern. You should seek to work through it. With therapy, communication and dedication sexless marriages can be corrected. But if these things are not working and you feel your marriage is beyond repair, then you should know when to walk away from a sexless marriage.

 

So what are sexless marriages? If you and your partner are not been physically intimate for a period of more than one year and still counting, you are in all the probability in a sexless marriage. Sometimes, couples drift apart for a short period of time due to conflicting schedules, stress and medical conditions. But then they reunite and consummate. And it all becomes normal with time. Or there would be the time when partners take some time off to explore their own interests and desires. And then they get back together, reignite the spark and revive their relationship. And all ends fine. But if you feel resentful and fulfilled in your marriage and your partner avoids any physical intimacy, and it has been a while, you need to be clear about where your relationship is heading. It is not clearly a phase that you thought it was. It is what a sexless marriage looks like.

 

So what are the signs of a sexless marriage? There are various signs of s sexless marriage such as:

• You and your spouse live like roommates and not as couples. Yout both have different rooms, sleep separately, and there is no physical intimacy between the two, and it feels like ages you got physically close. 
• You both avoid each other and do not cuddle at all. Spending time together alone feels weird. 
• You have desires to get physically intimate but with someone else and not your partner. And you do not want to talk about it. 
• You feel there is no physical intimacy and compatibility left anymore in your relationship.
• You and your partner do not make any attempt to revive your intimacy with each other. 

 

So, if you related to most of the signs above, you are in a sexless marriage that you need to fix. 

 

When you are in a sexless marriage, it causes an extreme effect on your mental health, self-esteem, confidence and general happiness. Physical pleasure leads to the release of happy hormones that are good for your overall well-being. And when you are in such a marriage you may feel stuck, angry, resentful and unfilled. All these things are not positive signs. It is a sacrifice that you are making to be in the marriage, to make it work and for the sake of your kids. But is it worth holding onto? Sexless marriages cannot work for long. So you need to fix it or be assured to land up in a divorce and move on! Therefore, it is important to talk to your partner clearly or suffer. And if still, things are not working, then you should know when to walk away from a sexless marriage.

 

When to walk away from a sexless marriage?

Here are the signs that your sexless marriage is beyond repair, and it is time to walk away from it.

 

1. Your partner refuses to talk about it and doesn't want the sexlessness to improve in the marriage. He has also refused to see the marriage counsellor or therapist. 
2. Your partner refused to seek any professional help from a marriage counsellor and therapist. Also, if there is any medical condition that is the problem for lack of physical intimacy like that of ED, hormonal changes, loss of libido, etc, and your partner still refuses to address it or get treated, it is a matter of concern.
3. Your partner doesn't want to improve their situation even after therapy or medical treatment, and there is a clear lack of effort from their side to improve the sexlessness in marriage. 
4. Your partner and you are in a complete deadlock with respect to a sexless marriage, and there seems to be no convergence between the two. 
5. Your partner has evolved with respect to their sexual preference and now want to explore gay relationships. It can be a serious cause of concern and knowing when to walk away when your husband is gay, or your wife is a lesbian is very important. Sometimes gay men marry women for reasons such as societal pressure or to change their sexual orientation, but now they want to move on. And therefore, your marriage has become a platonic one. So, you have your answer to move on. 
6. Other reasons why your marriage is now defined by sexlessness could be infidelity and dishonesty, or your relationship has become toxic. Under such circumstances, you should move on.
7. One of the major reasons for a sexless marriage is that there is no more love between you and your partner anymore. And what is the point of holding on to a marriage or relationship without love? Love is the reason for physical intimacy and when it is no more there, physical intimacy will die. 

 

So, is divorce an answer to a sexless marriage? Well, if anything is not working and sexlessness in your marriage is causing you to suffer, and there is no change in your marriage status even after speaking to your partner, then divorce can be the only solution. But these are the clear signs that hind when to walk away from a relationship. 

 

If you want to read a more detailed post about sexless marriages and when to walk away from a sexless marriage read here: Know when to walk away from a sexless marriage!