be happy in simple steps

 

All of us have a past and that past is not always glorious. Some of our past even traumatizing and obsessing. The problem is not that we have a traumatic past. The problem is that we choose to stay back in that phase of life and not focus on our present and future. And as a result, our past start to dictate our present and future. A clear outcome is that we are not happy. So how to let go of the past and be happy?

 

When you dig through your life, you may uncover reasons why you are unable to move on. Yes, you can't let go of the past even when you know that yesterday was your past, and you should let it go. You understand that to lead a fulfilling life, you need to put it behind you and take steps to move forward. 

 

But it is easier than done. It sounds easy to tough to implement. Even with this knowledge, it takes a lot to implement things in your life, that will help you move on and find happiness. So, let us try to find out why it is tough to move on. 

 

The main reason is that our past defines 90 per cent of who we are today in our present. If we let go of our past, we won't be able to be the same person. And it is what we all feel. Giving up on the past may mean that we are giving up on our roots or our real selves. When you think of giving up your past, you feel like you are discarding a part of yourself. And no one likes that. So the reason is your psychology that is keeping you away from moving on from your past. 

 

We as humans, do not like change. We all resist change or despise change, and it is also a reason we find moving on a tough job. 

 

So, now we understand why it is tough to move on from your past, let us try and understand how to let go of the past and be happy?

 

1. Understand you emotions

 

If you want to move on from your past, it is important to unfold your inner emotions and understand them rather than suppressing them. Once you stop ignoring your emotions, you understand them, become ready to face them, and finally decide to close that chapter of your life. So when you decide to close the unresolved emotions from your past, you take charge of your emotions, and ultimately learn to move on. 

 

2.     Do not let negative emotions rule your state of being

 

If you let negative thoughts rule your emotions, it will push you further down the drain. And if you often sulk and brood on negative thoughts, you get into a vicious circle, that will never allow you to move on into a positive space. So, if you want to let go of the past and be happy, you need to let your negativity wither away and let positivity seep in. 

 

3.     Learn from your past

 

Always turn around the table and use your past to make it a learning experience. This way you can learn from your past and implement the learnings in your present. Learning is a positive emotion and is a positive way of dealing with past failures, traumas and experiences. So, if you apply your learnings to your past, you will realise that the old experiences are of no use anymore and eventually you free yourself from the clutches of your past. 

 

4.     Live in your present

 

When you live in your present, you focus on your present and future. You also make sure to keep yourself occupied and happy while taking ahead one step at a time. This is one of the best ways to tackle the problems of not being able to move on from your past. 

 

5.     Learn more about yourself

 

It is one of the answers to the question:  how to let go of the past and be happy? The reason is that the more you know about yourself, your strengths, likes, and dislikes, the better you are giving yourself these things. So learning more about yourself will give you ample reasons to feed yourself those things rather than obsessing over your past. 

 

So these are the things that will make you move on, help your let go and find back your happiness.

What are the most important things in a relationship that you should ask for

 

We all forge meaningful relationships in life, but many of them become too draining with time. But what are the factors that make relationships go sour? When you start to sacrifice and compromise too often in a relationship it leads to resentment. Having said that, every relationship is demanding, and you need to invest a lot into it. But when it starts to drain you off, leads to resentment, and you feel dissatisfied always, it is time to rethink. 

 

Yes, relationships are important but there are a few things that every relationship should ensure you. So, what are those things that can make or break your relationship and what are the most important things in a relationship that you should always demand? These things are deal-breakers and become the basis of the existence of your being. 

 

You need to figure out what are the things that are important to you in a relationship and when those things are violated, you will not accept it. You will not be shy about breaking the relationship or moving on if these things are not guaranteed. 

 

But there is a word of caution. When you become demanding or rather vocal about the things that are important to you and the things that you are not willing to sacrifice at any cost, you may start to lose friends. It is a natural process. When you start demanding a few things that are important to you from others like your self-respect, freedom of thought or your right to say no, not all of your friends will accept the new you. But it is okay. Those who were true to you and understand you will stick to you and give you what you want. But those who are not true to you may choose to abandon you.

 

So, what are the most important things in a relationship that you should ask for?

 

1. Your self-respect

Everyone has self-respect, and demanding self-respect over anything else is your right. So if any relationship doesn't give you enough respect or self-respect, you need to ask for it. And even if nothing improves, you have your answers. 

 

Respect and self-respect is the fundamental principle of all the relationships we forge. And if this rule is broken, then there is no point in sticking to such a relationship.

 

2.     Trust

You should be able to trust your partner or friend or anyone you are in a relationship with. Because trust is the foundation of all the relationships that we forge, and if there is no trust there is no bond. So, what is the point of having a friend or a partner whom you can't trust or who does not trust you? So, trust is one of the most important things that you should ask for in every relationship you have. 

 

3.     Honesty

What is a relationship where there is no honesty and truth? Any relationship formed on the basis of lies or a relationship full of lies will not stand the test of time. So, honesty is something that is the fundamental value of all the relationships you form. It is not only applicable to love and romantic relationship but also to every relationship such as friendship and work relationships. 

 

 

4.     Loyalty

 

Don't you want your friends, family or partner to be loyal to you? Everyone seeks loyalty from relationships and it is your right to seek loyalty. Loyalty is a huge pillar of a successful relationship. So you better be loyal to your partner and expect the same in return. Nothing more and nothing less. 

 

5.     Bonding

What is a relationship, when there is no bonding or companionship? It would be like a dead rat. Love, care, concern, bonding and companionship are the fundamental values of all relationships. And if you are not getting these things out of your relationships, you should be vocal about it and if nothing works, you should rather part ways. 

5 Signs that you need to know to let your relationships go!

 

People often cling to things for a long period than desired. If the workplace is toxic, people stay. If the family is toxic, people stay. And if the relationship becomes toxic, people stay. But is this a correct approach? You choose to stay in a place despite all the odds, only at the expense of one thing. And that thing is costing you your happiness. As they say, happiness is a choice, and you are giving up on your happiness by choosing to stay in the same old relationship or place that is doing nothing but the opposite. 

 

So, if you want to find your peace, respect and happiness back, you should know when to move on from a relationship. But what is stopping you from moving on? Here are the reasons:

• You fear being alone and you are not sure what the future holds for you. And as a result, you stick to your relationship even after so many odds.
• You are not confident of yourself and have low self-esteem. 
• You are defined by your relationship and do not have an independent identity of your own. 
• You are afraid of taking the next step and moving on. 

 

But when you surpass these things, long happiness awaits you. Sometimes the relationship can become too toxic to hold, and you do not realise what to do as you are not aware of the signs of when to let go of a relationship. So what are these signs? Read on below to find out:

 

1. You are not happy anymore

You were a happy person always. Your friends called you a merry-go-lucky kind of person. So what has changed now? Does this change happen after you entered a relationship? So if you find that you are often worrying, unhappy, or low and your gut feeling says to ghost the person you love and are living with, it is a clear sign that you want to break free and that you should move on. 

 

2.     You feel that your needs are not met by your partner

If you often feel that your needs are not met by your partner, or he or she doesn't care about your feelings, it can be really disturbing. So, if you feel unfulfilled, not cared for and want to feel love again with some other person, it is a clear indication that it is time to move on. 

 

3.     You are the only one giving in a relationship

Every relationship shall be made up of equals. Both the partners should come together and give each other respect, love, care and intimacy. But sometimes, it is also okay that one partner is more giving than the other partner. But if it is the way your relationship dynamics are and now you have started to feel resentful, it is not a good sign. If after your repeated attempts your partner is not budging, it is time to let go of this relationship in your best interest. 

 

4.     You do not feel respected

Respect is the foundation of all relationships, and if your partner doesn't value your opinion, thoughts, decisions and choices, it is a grave matter of concern. Respect shall not be compromised for anything. Not even your relationship. 

 

5.     Infidelity 

If you think your partner is not loyal to you and that infidelity has seeped into your relationship, it is better to let it go. And the same is applicable to you as well. If you are often tempted to cheat on your partner due to any reason, you should let it go. It is not all worth it. 

 

 

So, to conclude, I would like to say that happiness is the biggest goal of life and if your relationships are keeping you away from achieving that, then your should let them go!