Are you gay but married to a woman? How does mixed-orientation marriages work?

 

Are you a gay man and married to a woman? If yes, it is a matter of concern, and you need to think through your situation. However, you are not alone! There are many gay men who are married to a woman. Some by choice and some by circumstances! And you need to figure out your reasons for marrying a woman? 

 

What are the reasons gay men marry women?

There could be many reasons for a gay man to marry a woman. So if you are a gay man married to a woman, what are your reasons? Let's figure it out:

• Denial: Many gay men or bisexual males remain in denial, and as a result, they are not able to accept their sexuality and are not being true to themselves. And hence they end up marrying a woman and spoil it all.
• Guilt and shame: Out society is conditioned to discard, look down, make fun, and guilt traps the members of the LGBTQIA community. Hence many men who are gay or bisexual may feel shy to come out due to the non-acceptance of society. They may feel that their families, friends or society may abandon them. And it happens in real life where many gay men are abandoned by their families and friends. Also, there is a lot of guilt associated with being a member of the LGBT community. 
• Not finding the right man in the gay world: Many gay men marry women as they fail to find the right gay man for themselves. When these gay men fail to secure a committed relationship for themselves in the gay world, they end up concealing their true identities and end up marrying straight women. 
• To have a child: There are many gay men who solely decide to marry women, as they want to have kids and lead a married life. It is especially true for countries where single man adoption or adoption by same-sex couples are not allowed. Hence to avoid such circumstances, many gay men marry a woman.  
• The false hope of changing themselves: Many gay men marry in a false hope that the straight marriage will change their sexual preference and turn them straight. But it doesn't ever happen. 

 

So what are your reasons to marry straight women? You would have found out by now! Regardless of whatever your reasons for marriage are, your challenges are real. And by now, you would have suffered a lot of pain, turmoil and agony. There would have been times, you would be feeling lonely, broken and depressed. Also, there would be times you would be tempted to sleep outside of your marriage with another man. And in all probability, you would be already cheating on your wife by sleeping clandestinely with other men. 

 

Yes, you would be having a lot of guilt in your mind for cheating on your wife. Also, you would be feeling a lot heavy for keeping your wife in dark about your sexuality. And if you are a gay man married to a woman, then your married life is already hurting. Your wife may be unsure as to why she doesn't feel like a woman, why you guys consummate less, why she feels that something is missing in her married life and why she feels unfulfilled. Now, that you have come to terms with your sexuality, you clearly know that you are not happy in your marriage, and you want to move on to marry a man of your choice. And there is nothing wrong with that. You married for whatever reasons, but now you want to move on. 

 

So what to do when you are a gay man and married to a woman?

So if you are a gay man and married to a woman, what should you do? One side of you tells you to break your marriage and explore your sexuality. Another side of you tells you to not hurt your wife and stick to your marriage, especially, when you have children. So what should you do? In my opinion, choosing to move on for the sake of your mental health and the sake of your wife's long term life will be your safest bet. Also, in all probability, your wife has an idea, and she is also hurting and suffering. So is it worth making her suffer and make yourself suffer too? And if you will not listen to your innermost feelings and true sexuality, you will become more frustrated and end up losing your marriage at a later stage. So rather than ending your marriage because of your sexuality at an age of 50, it is better to do it now. 

 

I agree it will be a tough decision to start with, and it will cause a lot of pain and suffering to you and your wife. But it will eventually set you free and your wife free too. So, it is in your best interest to stop leading a false life and stay true to yourself. Speak to your wife and seek her forgiveness. She will set you free. It may not happen now, but things will fall in place with time. 

 

So choose your happiness, lead a life that you always wanted to live and let your wife lead her life in light of the truth. 

 

For more authentic and detailed advice read: Are you a gay man married to a woman? s tips to move on! 

Recently Divorce? 6 Easy Ways For Moving On After A Divorce!

 

Divorce is not uncommon: people marry, and people divorce too, and there is nothing new in that. But what can be a matter of concern is not being able to move on after your divorce, and you do not want to be in that situation. Many people do not overcome their divorce and live in their past. Others get insecure and obsess over one thing: they will never find love again. And most people underestimate themselves as a divorcee or a half married person. But it is completely possible to move on after a divorce! 

 

Yes, divorce hits us hard and emotionally breaks us down. It is draining and can be life-changing. But it is completely possible to come out of it without causing much harm to yourself. When you undergo a divorce, it breaks your self-esteem and hits your self-worth. Then it hits you emotionally and then hits you socially and financially. However, you can take steps to heal yourself emotionally first and make yourself strong enough to come out of it successfully. So how to move on after a divorce? Let us find out!

 

How to move on after a divorce?

Moving on after a divorce involves moving on physically by moving out of the house, financially by separating your finances, emotionally by making yourself strong enough to move forward in life. Moving on emotionally is the most challenging part. Once you perfect this, rest all will follow. But it is easier said than done. It is one of the biggest hurdles for people who recently underwent divorce or are going through it. And it requires a lot of contemplation to do so. So here are a few steps or tips that you can follow to make your journey of moving on after a divorce easier. 

 

1. Accept your divorce

This is the first step for successfully moving on from a divorce. People do not accept that they are undergoing a divorce and live in denial. So, the earlier you accept your divorce better it is. You should accept that your marriage is not working anymore and that you are taking a step to liberate yourself from the pain of being in your marriage. Once you accept your divorce and acknowledge the same consciously, half of the battle is won. 

 

2.     Focus on the positive side of life

A divorce may make you a sceptic or pessimist. You are more prone to see everything in a negative light as your judgement is clouded. But it is just a phase that you should be able to overcome. If you obsess with negative thoughts, it has the potential to paralyze you. So, you need to take a step back and feed yourself with positive thoughts. Make a list of good things in your life be grateful for what all you have and start thinking in a positive light. Yes, it seems quite lame on the surface, it does work! 

 

3.     Forgive yourself

When a marriage falls apart, both parties are at fault. One is more at fault, and the other is at large. But this doesn't matter anymore. What matters is that you look for the reasons for your divorce and look at the core issues. Was it infidelity, power struggle or sexless marriage? And when you determine the reasons and come to terms with them. Do not look at divorce as your failure but as liberation from the pain of the past. If the marriage did not work, it doesn't mean you have to blame yourself. Look with a zoomed lens, and you will realize that all this is worth it and you are liberated from the pain of yesterday. 

 

4.     Spare your kids away from the drama

If you had kids, do not let them suffer because of your divorce. It is quite common to blame each other in front of them. But it will not lead to anything positive. In fact, try to be a good parent, spend quality time, and explain to them your situation and how divorce is the best option you both had. And do it together as adults. Also, do keep the visiting rights of the other parent intact. 

 

5.     Count on your friends

Count on your family and friends. They are your support system and fallback options. They will not change your life, but they can make your life journey very easy. Confide in them, share your innermost feelings, go out with them, and divert your mind. Not every one of your friends will support you, but those who do, are your keeps for life. 

 

6.     Focus on yourself

Yes, you heard it right. You should focus on yourself and your well-being. Focus on your emotional, spiritual, mental, physical and financial well-being. Build a life for yourself. Be strong and independent and make yourself financially sound. This is the best gift you can give to yourself. No divorce can snatch it away from you. 

 

I hope you liked this article!

 

Suggested reading: 5 steps for moving on after a divorce and rebuilding your life!

Why Friendship Between Boy and Girl is Awesome?

 

Regardless of whether it is a companionship between two men or two young ladies or a fellowship between a kid and a young lady, they all are astounding. Be that as it may, with regards to a friendship between boy and girl, nothing is seriously satisfying.

 

Envision an existence without companions. It can turn out to be desolate, exhausting and purposeless. So we as a whole ought to have companions and dearest companions with whom we can share our life, dread, concerns and minutes. Furthermore when that closest companion is from the contrary orientation, nothing can more satisfy. In this way, a fellowship among kid and young lady is something that can get the best the companion's life. On the off chance that you are somebody who has a closest companion from the contrary orientation, you are fortunate and ought to appreciate it.

 

So presently let us sort out why a kinship between a kid and young lady is extraordinary and satisfying?

 

1. At the point when you have a dearest companion from the contrary orientation, it assists you with understanding the conduct, nature, viewpoint and character of the other orientation. Furthermore it truly helps as you grow up and assist you with understanding the other orientation well indeed.

 

2. Whenever a young lady and a person are closest companions, they investigate one another and become mindful of the contrary orientation. It assists you with becoming familiar with the contrary orientation. As you grow up, your kinship with the contrary orientation assists you with progressing in your life and calling.

 

3.  As you grow up with your dearest companion who is of the contrary orientation, you learn close insights concerning each other's existence with no judgment. You get familiar with reality with regards to the contrary orientation, become familiar with their dull insider facts, and assemble a solid companionship.

 

4. At the point when your dearest companion is from the contrary orientation, The young lady figures out how to shout out without hindrances to her male dearest companion, and the kid figures out how to make some noise without restraints to her young lady dearest companion.

 

5.  At the point when your dearest companion is from the contrary orientation, it can instruct you that the other orientation is significant and equivalent in all parts of life. While society is one-sided towards men and treats ladies disappointing to men, you will figure out how to break these inclinations. What's more as a man, you will uphold the fantasies, aspirations and decisions of your lady closest companion.

 

Likewise, many individuals inquire: can a boy and girl be best friends? Indeed, they can be dearest companions. So kid and young lady can be closest companions, and such a relationship can be the most grounded one.

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