Are you a people pleaser who does
things to make others happy? Are you someone who always puts others first and
finds the act of putting yourself before others selfish? If you are in the
habit of making others happy because you do not want to disappoint others, it
is something you should stop doing. But it is easier said than done! So let us
figure out how to stop being a
people pleaser.
What happens when you are doing too much of people-pleasing?
- When
people do not value their own needs and wants or even desires they put
others first. It is because they have poor self-esteem. So if you see the
act of putting yourself before others as selfish, it is not. It is your poor
self-esteem.
- Many
times people always say yes, as they are insecure that others will not
like them or break their relationship with them if they start to say no.
And it is nothing but their insecurities.
- Sometimes
people find it difficult to say no or deny any help as they think they
won't be accepted by society. Also, people are raised to believe that they
are bound to help people regardless of anything. So, they indulge in
people-pleasing.
- Start
to say small no’s: The
first thing to break this loop of people-pleasing is to start to say small
nos. And once you start small, you learn to say no in a big way.
- Focus
on yourself:
When you put all your focus on yourself, you tend to reject all the things
that defocus you from focusing on your well-being. So it is always
important to focus on yourself and do things you feel are important to
you.
- Set
your goals:
When you set your goals and work towards them, you tend to focus on
essentials and eliminate non-essentials. So, when people suck up your
energy with unnecessary requests and demands, you evaluate them in the
light of your goals. And when you do so, you learn to turn down requests
and break this habit of people-pleasing.
- Take
some time:
When someone approaches you with some demand, you should not immediately
commit to it or say yes. Because when you do so you may regret it later.
So, it is better to take up some time and think before you commit to
something you are not sure about. When someone approaches you for some
help, you should tell them that you need to think and then get back to
them with your yes or no. Whatever you will say after thinking will be
your decision and prevent you from unnecessary people-pleasing.
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