Why do people ghost you, and how to overcome ghosting?

 

Ghosting is a very common phenomenon these days. Most of us have experienced ghosting in our lives. It is especially true for cases when you are in the early stages of your relationship. In the dating world also it is quite common for people to ghost you at once. A friend of mine called me in despair. She was in the early stages of a relationship with another girl but then something weird happened. They met for initial few days and went to dinners and parties together. But then the other girl whom she liked stopped answering her phone, responding to her texts and answering her calls. She also unfriended her on social media. My friend was concerned if the other girl is in some form of trouble or if it was deliberate? And then one fine day, her new insta post cropped up having dinner with a new woman. It all then became clear. She was ghosted. 

 

So why do people ghost you? Did you say something wrong and offend them, or they just are over you? The reasons could be many but ghosting causes a lot of harm to your mental well-being and may even make you resentful (read more about how to let go of resentment). Ghosting can be a painful experience and can break you. It hurts a lot and makes you feel disrespected. It hurts your self-esteem and confidence. Ghosting can also make you develop trust issues in your present relationships, as you are never sure when someone actually abandons you.

 

Ghosting is just not prevalent in our personal lives but also in our professional lives. I have been ghosted by recruiter after my interviews many times and still counting. It is called recruiter ghosting or professional ghosting. 

 

Ghosting is worse than normal face to face dumping. When someone leaves you without explaining anything, you keep hanging in shock and want to know your answers just once. You want to achieve your closure but to no avail. So ghosting is cruel and can be a traumatic experience for many of us. 

 

We often live in guilt and think over and again that we would have said something or done something that offended the other person, and they ghosted us. Bit it is seldom true. If someone wants to be with you, they will give you a fair chance to explain your stance. But when someone chooses to abandon you without any final goodbye and without any reason, it is not something that you have done wrong. It is something more than that and something to do with them. 

 

So why do people ghost you? Here are the top five reasons:

 

1. They lack self-awareness: The people who ghost you are the ones who lack self-awareness. They do not know what they need from their own lives so they come in your life and then leave your life. They are not really sure what is it that makes them happy and how to form meaningful relationships. Here is how to deal with someone who lacks self-awareness! 
2. Ghosting is easy in this world: We live in a world where ghosting is easy and online dating makes it easier to disappear. It means when we do not have common friends and common people, we have fewer stakes involved, and we can ghost anytime we want.
3. They are facing tough situations in life: When they are facing a tough situation in their lives, they want to focus on fixing themselves, and hence they want to cut off everyone who doesn't fit into their plan. So they just lock themselves up and save all their energies to rebuild themselves. For example, I had a person who ghosted me after her divorce. Later on, I found out that she was rebuilding herself and wanted her time off. So she abandoned everyone. Not because I did something wrong and offended her but because she was not ready to face me and her friends. Here are five steps for moving on after a divorce! 
4. They are insecure and jealous of you: sometimes your friends ghost you surprisingly because they are insecure about themselves and are jealous of your success. And they can't handle all this as it is too much for them. So the easiest option is to ghost you when they can defeat you. Good for you and good for them too. 
5. Sometimes people ghost you because they have lied to you initially. And now since you guys are really close, they fear that you will find the truth out and will reject them. So, to avoid such a thing happening and explaining everything, they resort to ghosting.

 

So these are the reasons why people ghost you. If you have more reasons to share about why people ghost you, do share the same in the comments section below. 

 

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