How to let go of your past and be happy?

 

We all have a past, and most of the time it hurts. We often hold onto our past and painful memories. And it leads us to become ineffective in our present. It actually limits our ability to move on and focus on our future. We consciously hold onto our past. And in the same way, moving can be a conscious decision. The choice is yours! So how to let go of the past?

 

One thing common to all humans is that we all experience pain. We all get cheated, mistreated, mishandled and whatnot. And it causes a lot of pain. But when we cling to that pain and are not able to move forward it becomes detrimental to our mental health. So, what the successful people do? They deal with the pain and address it. They heal from it and move forward. Some learn lessons from the past and the pain and use them to get motivated and transform their pain into their success. And some of us, get stuck and brood over the fact that wish we could have changed our past. It does nothing but immobilizes them and make them suffer. 

 

So how to forget the past and move on with your life? Here are a few steps that you can take to free yourself from the pain of yesterday and move on in life. If you do not know what steps to take to move on from a life predominated by the thoughts of your past, here are the steps you can take. 

 

1. Feed yourself the right thoughts

When you feed yourself the wrong thoughts such as I can't believe this happened to me or wish I could go back and change my past it becomes your nature. And it manifests in your present life. It limits your potential to move on. So instead, feed yourself positive thoughts or the right thoughts such as I am grateful that I made it so far and a better future is in store for me. Trust me, when you do so, you give a signal to your mind that you are done with your past and that you want to move on. 

 

2.     Forgive yourself and forgive people

If you really want to move on, you need to, first of all, forgive yourself for whatever wrong decisions you took. Once you do so, you free yourself of the burden that you are carrying for so long. But it is not enough. You need to forgive people from your past who have mistreated you or caused you to hurt so much. It has nothing to do with them but with your own mental well-being. Once you do so, you free yourself from the burden you are carrying for so long.

 

This is one of the main tips I give to people on how to come out of depression!

 

3.     Focus on your present 

If you are stuck in your past, all your focus is on your past only. So how do you expect yourself to be effective in your present? And to break this you need to focus on your present and work on the things that need your attention right now. 

 

4.     Stop comparing yourself

When you live a life full of comparisons in special reference to your past, you are killing your own peace of mind and true potential. So you should learn how to stop comparing yourself to others and your past. Once you do so, you start healing and start to move on from your past. So if you are comparing your present with your past, you are sheer living in past. 

 

5.     Do not resist change

The main reason people find it difficult to move on from the past is that they fear they won't be able to cope up with the change or they resist the change. You have to change yourself for a better future. When you resist change, it means you are comfortable with your past. 

 

6.     Give up your comfort zone

Staying in past is a way to procrastinate things as it is easy to just brood over and do nothing. Let not your past stop you from exploring things that you always wanted to do. You may take up doing smaller things that give you happiness, even if it requires you to get out of your comfort zone. Once you start doing it, start implementing it in bigger things in your life, especially the things from your past. 

7 Simple Self-Care Practices For Healthy Mind

 Do you take care of yourself or forget or take care of yourself? If you often ignore your well-being, you will soon feel exhausted or burnout. And it will create a kind of mental fog that will put you into a zone where you won't be caring about anyone or yourself foremost. 

 I was working in London, I was so engrossed in my work and the daily chores that I forgot to take care of myself. And the end result was that I was in bad mental and physical health. I had no life.  

So I decided to do something about it. And the first step was to set my priorities right and that was my own mental well-being. Nothing else matters apart from my own health- both mental and physical. So, I quit my job and moved to Thailand. I started doing freelancing work so that I could focus on my wellness. I started to make time for myself, do workouts and do my freelancing work. But how to live a healthy lifestyle? It was the answer I was looking forward to. So I started to indulge in self-care practices, and it did wonders for me. 

When I started to take care of myself, I became more free, giving and happy. I got to know myself better. It was what I needed the most in life.  As a first step to taking care of myself, I started to put myself first, and yes, it is not selfish. Putting yourself before others is not selfish, and it is the first step to taking care of yourself.

So let us about those small self-care practices you should always keep in mind and be happy. 

 

1. Find what you love and give it your best

Everyone loves to indulge in something that interests them. So what is yours? Mine is travelling, writing and music. I think there are a lot of benefits of travelling. But it is not just about travelling, but it is about cultivating a habit and giving it your best. Once you do so, you shower yourself with the much-needed self-care. 

 

2.     Spend time with friends and family

When you get tired and bored of your life, or when you need social support, these will be the people who will always be there. So if you want to take care of yourself, you should spend time in the right company. 

 

3.     Indulge in things you like 

You like to eat, so eat. One fine day you do not want to get out of your bed and spend your whole time lazing around. Or if you want to pamper yourself, treat yourself to a massage or spa. There is nothing wrong with it. In fact, it is a kind of comfort and happiness you are giving to yourself. In fact, you should choose happiness as happiness is a choice. 

 

4.     Make yourself financially strong

When you take care of your financial well-being, you are also investing in something that will help you reap good benefits. It is also one of the self-care practices you can do to ensure your mental and physical well-being. 

  

5.     Have a fitness regimen

Any self-care plan is incomplete without a sound fitness plan. Everyone should invest in their physical health, and make time for it (yes, it is your me-time). When you are physically happy, you are mentally happy. Physical fitness is a precursor to your mental well-being. And you might not want to miss that. 

 

6.     Reconnect with your inner self

When you reconnect with your inner self, you are being true to yourself. And it keeps you eternally happy. What can be better to look after your well-being than being true to yourself? Whatever you tell yourself, you feed to your mind. So when you feed positive things, you get a positive result. The vice versa is also true. 

 

7.     Be mindful and grateful

The best way to indulge in self-care practices is to be mindful of whatever you are doing. Also, you should be grateful for whatever you have in your life. Being mindful means focusing on things you are doing at the moment. When you eat food, focus on eating. When you are praying focus on praying, when you are bathing, focus on bathing. It will make you enjoy your life and every moment as it comes. 

 

An indirect corollary of this is that you should also be thankful to God for whatever good you have in life. Be it small or big. Once you do so, you feed your mind with an abundance mindset. And when you feel abundant, you feel happy. 

5 Most Important Things in a Relationship

 

There are only two types of relationships- healthy or unhealthy! You can clearly classify in what category fall yours? Healthy relationships make you feel good and peaceful. While the unhealthy ones make you feel stressed out. So what are the things that make a relationship healthy and fulfilling and what are the things that make them unhealthy and freak out? In this post, we will discover the five most important things in a relationship that you should demand from all of them. 

 Many of us remain confused about why are we unhappy in a relationship and then we learn it the hard way. So here are a few things that we should demand from all the relationships without any guilt. It will ensure that you are being true to yourself, and it will in turn make you content and happy.  So what are the five most important things in a relationship? Let us talk about them:

 

1. Respect

Everyone deserves respect, and you do too! All healthy relationships are characterised by respect, where both friends and partners respect each other. Respect means that your friends respect your opinion, choices and decisions in life. And your respect is over anything else, be it your friends, family, spouse or partner.  When you seek respect, it is a sign that you are focusing on your relationship with yourself, listening to your inner self, and doing something that is right. 

 

1. Consistency

 Consistency is the most important thing in any relationship to ask for. Everyone like consistent behaviour whether it is your friend or family or your partner. And when consistency goes missing, trust is the first thing to go. In fact, inconsistency in a relationship is the first thing, that you should say no to, as it is a kind of emotional abuse. It keeps you confused, stressed, and unclear about your future goals with the inconsistent person. So do not hesitate. Learn to say no to inconsistent people and demand predictability instead. It is your right to seek emotional consistency in all your relationships. 

 

1. Your personal space

Everyone deserves a personal space and some privacy to heal, recharge and recuperate from daily stressors and challenges. And it is your right to seek your personal space and privacy from everyone, including your spouse or partner if you want to. And there is nothing wrong with it. So, if you think your personal space is violated, you should ask for it head-on without thinking about it twice. 

 

1. Independence

 You are an individual and have a thought process of your own. And the other person shall respect your independence of thoughts, preferences and opinions. In fact, you should not be afraid of expressing yourself freely and would not be afraid of speaking your mind, thoughts, and choices. Your independence is your right, and if someone is limiting the independence of your thoughts, you should rethink your relationship with them. 

 

1. Happiness 

Everyone is responsible for their own happiness, and if your friend or partner holds you responsible for their happiness, then it is a matter of grave concern. Happiness is a choice, and you should choose to be happy without holding anyone else responsible for your happiness. Your happiness is your domain, and you can't make the other person responsible for it. 

 

So, if your friend often guilt traps you and holds you responsible for their happiness, it is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. And you should make it clear to the other person, that it is not going to work this way. Yes, you can't be responsible for others' happiness and if someone is making you feel so, it is high time to tell them the same and move on. 

 

So these are the five most important things in a relationship that you should not compromise. In fact, you should demand these things from all your relationships without thinking twice. Yes, some people may get upset or unsupportive, but it should not discourage you from demanding these things. These things are your rights, and no one shall deprive you of enjoying them- no man or woman. 

 

Ask yourself, are not these things, the things, that you would want from all the relationships in life? 

How to heal your wounded inner child

 

Everyone has an inner child that has been mishandled and wounded in the past. And in all probability, your wounded inner child manifests in your present and tries to reach out to you for your help and support. You like most of us, have some repressed memories from the past that resurface in your present life from time to time. These feelings trouble you, pull you into your past and limit your ability to be successful in your present. And therefore, it becomes important to heal your wounded inner child and improve your present relationships and wellbeing. So how to heal your inner child?

 

What is a wounded inner child?

 

Before we talk about healing our inner child, we must first understand what is the meaning of the wounded inner child. A wounded inner child is a manifestation of your former self that is yet to be healed. Your inner child in your childhood has got hurt and broken and its wounds never healed. So it is reaching out to you in an order to seek your help and intervention. And, since now you are grown up, are an adult and strong enough, you can deal with the matters in your part more diligently and effectively. And it is exactly why your inner child is trying to communicate to you and reach out to you. 

 

Take this inner child quiz to know more about your wounded inner child. 

 

So, now let us discuss how we can heal our inner child. In this article, we will discuss five major ways to heal your inner child. These are also called inner child healing exercises. 

 

How to heal your inner child? Let's figure it out! 

 

Tip 1: Apologize to yourself

 

You should say sorry to your inner child and apologize for not protecting it from the hurt it has to suffer. You can do so by saying sorry and seeking forgiveness. When you do so, you bring your inner child to trust you and express themself openly without any inhibitions.

 

Tip 2: Assure your inner child

 

You should assure your inner child that you will protect it now and be an armour to protect it from any further hurt, and at the same time, you will help it heal from the past trauma. 

 

Tips 3: Remind yourself how wonderful you are

 

You should remind yourself that you are a wonderful person and that your inner child is innocent and needs to be happy. Once you start sending these signals to yourself, you and your inner child start healing. 

 

Tip 4: Stay true to yourself

 

When you are being true to yourself by not being a people pleaser and by prioritising your own mental wellness over anything else you see your inner child healing. It is because when you stay true to yourself, you spend time with yourself, understand your needs and find time to communicate with your inner child. 

 

Tip 5: Listen to your inner self

 

It means communicating with your inner child and understanding your inner feelings and inner critic. It is okay to have shortcomings, and it is okay to be wounded. And there is nothing to ashamed of. When you embrace your inner child completely and tell them that they need not be ashamed of their past, they will start healing. 

 

Tip 6: Tell your inner child that it is not their fault

 

People are often a victim of their circumstances and most of the time it is not their fault. And, it is exactly what you need to tell your inner child, that it was not their fault as they were innocent and weak and couldn't defend themselves. But now you have grown up, you are capable enough to fight for them, and you will accept them as it is without any judgement and that you understand it was never their fault. 

 

Tip 7: Write letters to your inner child

 

When you start journaling your thoughts and start writing letters to your inner child, you see that it starts healing. It is one of the effective ways to heal your inner child. It is like writing letters to them and telling them that you are listening and are there for protecting them

 

Tip 8: Do childlike things

 

Once you start doing childlike things like laughing, enjoying smaller things and pursuing a passion that you always wanted to pursue as a child, you start to work on healing your inner child. You can also look at a childhood photo and feel how you felt at that time. 

 

These are 8 potent tips that will help reparent your wounded inner child and let it heal. If you find this post worthwhile, please share it with your friends. 

Are you a weak-minded person?

 

Ask yourself, are you a weak-minded person? Many people are mentally stronger than others while others appear to be stronger than they actually are. But if you are a weak-minded person, there a certain signs that can be easily spotted, and it can distinguish you from a strong-minded personality. So, if you are someone who can't take a stand for yourself, often are a people-pleaser and do things to prove it to others, you are a weak-minded person. So, what are the signs of a weak-minded person? Let's figure them out. 

 

Ten signs you are a weak-minded person

 

1. You never mean what you say

When you have the habit of saying things for the heck of saying them, you do not mean them. And it is one of the major signs of a weak-minded person. You promise a lot of things to people, but you seldom execute them. If you do not practice what you preach and do not mean what you say, then you are a weak-minded person.

 

2.     You can't stick to your plans

We all make promises to ourselves, but when it comes to execution most of us just delay things, get lazy and procrastinate. You are someone who does not want to leave your comfort zone and just keep lazying around. 

If you are someone who always makes a plan and never sticks by them, then you are a weak-minded person, and you need to fix yourself up.

 

3.     You are a people-pleaser

If you have this habit of pleasing others and being a yes-man in order not to disappoint yourself, it is a strong indication that you lack the guts to take up a stand for yourself. It also shows that you avoid conflicts even if you have to deprioritise your own well-being. You also please people as a daily chore as you want to seek validation from them and want to be in their good books. These things indicate you are a weak-minded personality and that you should learn how to stop being a people-pleaser?

 

4.     You run away from responsibilities

If everyone around has been telling you to own up to your actions and be responsible towards others, then it means you run from your responsibilities. And the only people who are supporting you are your parents, and if others do not encourage you, it means you are not owning up to your responsibilities. 

 

5.     You complain a lot

Ask yourself if people around tell you to stop whining and complaining? Do they tell you to stop complaining and start acting in the right direction? If it is the case, it means you often complain and dispose of all your misfortune to situations and people. And as a result, you often complain and make excuses. 

 

You often avoid tough situations and challenges under the garb of complaints and luck. And these are signs of emotionally weak personalities. 

 

6.     You cannot say no

Do you often end up saying yes and then regret it immediately? Do you find it really hard to say no to others or turn down their requests? If this is the case, then you are someone who is not strong enough to say no when you do not want to. You definitely need to learn to say no! 

 

7.     You are not ready to change

While not changing yourself is a sign of a tough personality, it is actually a sign of a weak-minded person who is not ready to change as they are afraid of what will happen. You do not want to change as you want to meet the guidelines of the so-called social standards. It means all you want is to be relaxed, close your eyes and live your life. And it is because you can't bear tough situations that may arrive due to the change. 

 

8.     You always quit

You make big plans, implement them for a few days and then quit. And it is often happening in your life as a trend. If it is so, you are a weak-minded personality. 

 

9.     You are not ready to let of the past

If you are not ready to let go of the past, it means you are scared that if you let go of the past, you will not be able to survive. And sometimes, you hold on to resentment and want to take revenge on the person who wronged you. You are not able to forgive and move on. And these are the signs of a weak-minded person. So, you should know how to let go of resentment and how to let go of the past! Once you implement these things in life, you will eventually become a strong and sorted person. 

 

So if you are always looking for the easiest routes, escape conflicts, find it tough to make decisions and can't forgive and forget, you are a weak-minded person.

 

Why do people ghost you, and how to overcome ghosting?

 

Ghosting is a very common phenomenon these days. Most of us have experienced ghosting in our lives. It is especially true for cases when you are in the early stages of your relationship. In the dating world also it is quite common for people to ghost you at once. A friend of mine called me in despair. She was in the early stages of a relationship with another girl but then something weird happened. They met for initial few days and went to dinners and parties together. But then the other girl whom she liked stopped answering her phone, responding to her texts and answering her calls. She also unfriended her on social media. My friend was concerned if the other girl is in some form of trouble or if it was deliberate? And then one fine day, her new insta post cropped up having dinner with a new woman. It all then became clear. She was ghosted. 

 

So why do people ghost you? Did you say something wrong and offend them, or they just are over you? The reasons could be many but ghosting causes a lot of harm to your mental well-being and may even make you resentful (read more about how to let go of resentment). Ghosting can be a painful experience and can break you. It hurts a lot and makes you feel disrespected. It hurts your self-esteem and confidence. Ghosting can also make you develop trust issues in your present relationships, as you are never sure when someone actually abandons you.

 

Ghosting is just not prevalent in our personal lives but also in our professional lives. I have been ghosted by recruiter after my interviews many times and still counting. It is called recruiter ghosting or professional ghosting. 

 

Ghosting is worse than normal face to face dumping. When someone leaves you without explaining anything, you keep hanging in shock and want to know your answers just once. You want to achieve your closure but to no avail. So ghosting is cruel and can be a traumatic experience for many of us. 

 

We often live in guilt and think over and again that we would have said something or done something that offended the other person, and they ghosted us. Bit it is seldom true. If someone wants to be with you, they will give you a fair chance to explain your stance. But when someone chooses to abandon you without any final goodbye and without any reason, it is not something that you have done wrong. It is something more than that and something to do with them. 

 

So why do people ghost you? Here are the top five reasons:

 

1. They lack self-awareness: The people who ghost you are the ones who lack self-awareness. They do not know what they need from their own lives so they come in your life and then leave your life. They are not really sure what is it that makes them happy and how to form meaningful relationships. Here is how to deal with someone who lacks self-awareness! 
2. Ghosting is easy in this world: We live in a world where ghosting is easy and online dating makes it easier to disappear. It means when we do not have common friends and common people, we have fewer stakes involved, and we can ghost anytime we want.
3. They are facing tough situations in life: When they are facing a tough situation in their lives, they want to focus on fixing themselves, and hence they want to cut off everyone who doesn't fit into their plan. So they just lock themselves up and save all their energies to rebuild themselves. For example, I had a person who ghosted me after her divorce. Later on, I found out that she was rebuilding herself and wanted her time off. So she abandoned everyone. Not because I did something wrong and offended her but because she was not ready to face me and her friends. Here are five steps for moving on after a divorce! 
4. They are insecure and jealous of you: sometimes your friends ghost you surprisingly because they are insecure about themselves and are jealous of your success. And they can't handle all this as it is too much for them. So the easiest option is to ghost you when they can defeat you. Good for you and good for them too. 
5. Sometimes people ghost you because they have lied to you initially. And now since you guys are really close, they fear that you will find the truth out and will reject them. So, to avoid such a thing happening and explaining everything, they resort to ghosting.

 

So these are the reasons why people ghost you. If you have more reasons to share about why people ghost you, do share the same in the comments section below. 

 

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