How to let go of resentment and move on with your life?

 

It is easy to justify being resentful while holding onto a grudge and anger. And why not? It is a natural and obvious response to being wronged and mistreated in your past relationships. But the longer you hold resentment the more toxic it becomes for your own mental wellbeing. Resentment and anger in the long run can become counterproductive. And as you weigh yourself down with a load of anger, resentment and pain, the other people who have wronged you are living their life guilt-free as if nothing has happened. So, only you are affected and angry. And it is not good for your overall mental health. So the next most obvious question is how to let go of resentment for your own zen and peace. 

 

But why letting go of resentment is important? First of all, it helps you move on with your life. And when your resentment is not letting you move on in your life, making you bitter and making you less effective in your present, knowing when to let go of a relationship becomes very important. Also, as you let go of resentment, you learn to forgive people not for them but for your own peace and closure. 

 

Many people talk about being empathetic. But for that, you have to first be empathetic towards yourself by being kind and free. And when you learn how to practice empathy towards yourself, you realise that it is time to let go of the grudge and bitterness you are clinging to. 

 

Ask yourself what is it that you want from your life? Is it happiness and peace, or is it revenge and bitterness? And most of you will ultimately realise that it is your own happiness and peace that you want. And resentment is exactly doing the opposite for you. The more you are being resentful, the more bitter and angry you become in life. Resentment eats all your peace and happiness. So why hold on to it?

 

While some resentment is okay and is normal, when it extends beyond years and months and starts eating your inner peace, it becomes toxic to your own wellbeing. 

 

Now we know it is not worthwhile to hold and cling to resentment. And moving on is the best strategy to safeguard our interests. So how to let go of resentment? Here are 5 tips to leverage to move on by dropping your anger and grudge:

 

1. Ask yourself if resentment is adding any value to your life? Is resentment that you are holding affecting the person who wronged you? Is this resentment lead to something meaningful? When you pose these questions to yourself, you realise that it has no value in your life, and it is all in vain. So what is the point of keeping it and making yourself suffer? And when you do so you learn to drop your resentment.
2. Speak to the person who has hurt you and against whom you are resenting. When you directly speak to the person and tell them that they have wronged you and that you need an apology, they are most likely to respond positively. Most of them, by now, would have realised that they have caused you hurt and will apologise. It will ease your pain and let you drop your grudge. And if they do not respond, then also you know that there is no point sticking to resentment as the other person is not even bothered a little bit. So again you learn to drop your grudge.
3. Try to look at it by empathising with the third person who caused you hurt. It is natural to feel the victim of their behaviour, but if you analyse their situation deeply, you will realise that they are themselves the victim of their past trauma and wounded inner child. It will make you understand their pain and mental state of mind and what made them behave so hurtful toward you. And hopefully, it all will ease out your pain, and you start healing too. 
4. Start to forgive people. People who forgive are strong people and healthy individuals. And you should learn to forgive people not for anything else but for yourself. Also, learn how to practice gratitude as it can help you ease out your pain by being thankful for what all you have left in life. 
5. And if nothing works you should seek the help of a professional therapist and speak to them out. These therapists have seen several cases and have helped many people to heal. So they can take a third-person perspective and advise you on your situation and enable you to let your resentment go without much effort. 

 

I hope you liked this post about resentment and how to let go of resentment.