Are you in an inconsistent relationship

 

Inconsistent behaviour is something that has the potential to upset anyone. Common, no one likes inconsistent behaviour, whether it is your friend, family member or even your partner and spouse. When we are in relationships, we expect the other person to be consistent in their behaviour. It is expected that people are consistent. And consistent behaviour is a strong signal of loyalty and faith in relationships. On the contrary, inconsistency in relationships keeps a relationship away from progressing. Inconsistency in relationships is not a healthy sign as it can cause serious hurt to the partner on the receiving end. 

 

When someone you love or are in a relationship with sends you mixed signals or mixed messages, and you can see inconsistency in their thoughts, behaviours or actions you really can not understand where you stand in their life. When the person you love acts and behaves in a way that makes you feel secure, loved and cared for, you are the happiest person. But when the same person changes their stance the next day and speak and act in a way that is exactly the opposite you feel like your world is shaken by a storm. So what is the reality? Which version of the story is true, and what should you believe in?

 

Sometimes people are inconsistent unintentionally too. We live in a world where we are subjected to a lot of stress on a daily basis, such as work pressure, daily commute or daily life challenges and under such circumstances, we can become moody. As a result, a little inconsistent behaviour can be a natural outcome and is understandable. If your partner is pretty consistent most of the time, but they behave differently when they are very stressed or during fights, then their consistent behaviour is their true feeling. 

 

But if you feel your partner is being increasingly inconsistent, and there is a clear pattern emerging out of it, it is a matter of concern. In this case, your partner's inconsistent behaviour is not natural and unintentional but can be deliberate. No one is confused about their feelings, and how they feel about you. And if they are emotionally inconsistent with you on a daily basis and it is worrying you, then you should deal with it immediately. Their emotional inconsistency is a matter of concern. 

 

So why your partner or friend is being consistently inconsistent in his behaviour towards you? If you have discovered a pattern in their behaviour then in all probability it is a deliberate inconsistency in your relationship. But why would someone bring inconsistencies in relationships when they claim they love you?

 

1. The first reason is that they do not want to take their relationship with you to the next level, and therefore, they are sabotaging it by bringing in inconsistencies in your relationship. So they bring a lot of drama in the form of inconsistency so that they can check the relationship from progressing further. You can see them oscillating between two phases- one good and one bad. One day they are good and as per expectations, and the next day they do not even care about you. They take one step forward and then backtrack by one step. It shows that they are not ready to commit to you and do not want to take it forward, at least for now. 

 

1. The second reason for inconsistency in relationships is that they might be on and off in some other relationship, and they are still confused about it. Your partner may yet not be over their ex, and that's why he keeps getting oscillating thoughts. For a few days, you are their entire world, and they hate their ex, and after a month, they are brooding over their ex and want to be with them as if you were nothing. It is a kind of on and off relationship as per your partner's convenience. So it is going to be like this, and you are going to suffer the most. The other person wants the best of both worlds, and you are just an option for them.

 

Having said so, it is reasonable to expect a certain amount of inconsistency in all relationships. External factors such as stress, conflicts, pressure, etc. can make people moody and make them act weird at times. And it is no cause for any alarm. But if it is something emerging out as a pattern, you need to cut it off and get unstuck and move on in life. Learn how to get unstuck in life and move on from toxic relationships.