5 Signs you have a wounded inner child

 

We all have an inner child within us. But most of us are not aware of that part of ours. We may not be connected to our inner child, but it affects us and our behaviour. The inner child is a metaphorical and subconscious part that lives in us and determines why we act and react to people and situations. 

 

Unfortunately, as adults, we often leave our inner child behind, to the point that we even deny its existence. We think that we have grown up, and there is no place for a childish like attitude. But if we listen to our inner child, a.k.a our former self, we can bring about a positive transformation in our lives. When we listen to the inner child within us, we not only become aware of our strengths and weaknesses-we gradually understand where they are coming from. It completely heals us gives us the motivation to lead a happy and meaningful life. 

 

As youngsters, we are susceptible to developing emotional wounds that could lead to deep-rooted trauma. And as kids, we do not have the emotional means to process it and navigate through it. So we end up carrying the deep emotional wounds in our present lives that affect our mental health, relationships and professional life. And it is exactly how you carry a wounded inner child within. 

 

So now let us see 5 signs that indicate that you are carrying a wounded inner child within.

 

5 signs you are carrying a wounded inner child

 

Here are a few signs of a wounded inner child:

1       - You fear desertion 

As a child, if you were abandoned or left alone, the chances are that you carry that fear in your present as well. If you fear desertion or abandonment, you are constantly afraid that people in real life will leave you. And it may affect your current relationship both personally and professionally. But the truth is not everyone is going to abandon you. 

 

2       - You have trouble defining your boundaries

Some of you had a very strict family, an authoritarian mother who always had the last say on all the matters. She would control your behaviour. It could have led to a fear developing inside of you. And you now find it difficult to put forward your opinion, speaking for yourself is even tougher, and saying no is the most difficult thing that you would ever face. You find it tough to express your heart and true feelings. 

 

Some of you may feel it is tough to define boundaries. When you feel overwhelmed, you shut yourself off completely rather than opening communicating the same to others. Others may let people enter their personal space, even when they do not want to. They find it very difficult to say no. 

 

It is a clear indication that you lack defining right boundaries and that it has come from your wounded inner child that never healed. 

 

a.      - You are not comfortable expressing your emotions 

Many of you who carry a wounded inner child find it very difficult to express normal emotions like anger, sadness or distress. You are ashamed of expressing them. Shame is a toxic emotion in children as it made them feel inadequate, incapable, or unworthy. And it is what is actually happens when you experienced a lot of shame when you were a kid, and you never processed that emotion. As a result, you carried a wounded inner child to your present self. It makes you uncomfortable when you feel anger, shame, sadness or distress. But the fact is that these feelings are normal, and it is healthy to express and vent them out. 

 

4       - You have serious trust issues

As a child, you were taught not to trust others. You have been cheated, hurt and not taken care of properly. Or you have been gaslighted, emotionally abused and therefore, you developed low self-confidence and low self-esteem. And now you carry the same experience to your present life and face a serious challenge of trusting others. You think that you are not good enough or people are not good enough. You have developed trust issues as an ego defence mechanism to avoid experiencing the same anxiety in your present life. The truth is it is your wounded inner child that needs repair. 

 

5       - You are a people pleaser 

 

As kids, we were taught to keep silent and not speak up. Children who always pleased others did not create fuss and expressed much of their needs were rewarded. It is the root cause of your people-pleasing behaviour in the present life. As a child, you were always busy pleasing people to the point you kept yourself aside. And your inner child got wounded. You started associating your self-worth with external validation. And you are now afraid to disappoint people to the point that you please them. It is one of the signs of an emotionally wounded inner child that needs your parenting.