We all have a past, a history! But
why do we hold on to our past? Why it is so tough for us to embrace past
experiences that have caused us a lot of suffering and hurt. What is the
underlying cause of holding on to our past? Is it for our need for certainty?
Well, certainty indeed is one of our basic human needs and fundamental to our
survival. So what does it mean? When we decide to forget the past and move on
with our life we risk moving to a territory that is unknown or unexplored. It
also means that we gather enough determination to let go of what is familiar
negative past. So the big question is how to let go of
the past and move on with your life?
Why is it difficult to let go of the
past?
Yes, it is tough for people to let go
of the past and move on, and there are various reasons for it.
First, it is all about the feeling of
certainty discussed above. We do not want to let go of the past as we want to
feel certain and venturing into territory unknown questions the status quo.
Secondly, we remember past traumatic
events and store them in our memories. We then seek reassurances that the same
will not happen in the present. A woman who is a feminist and has been
emotionally hurt previously by her partner will bring it up again and again.
She will never be satisfied with her partner and will put all the blame on him.
But is it right? It is not her partner who is at fault but her past that she is
holding on. And she needs to resolve her conflicts.
So let us learn how to forget the
past and move on with your life, and start living a life full of joy
and happiness.
How to let go of the past?
- The
first step is to acknowledge that your past is holding you back and is not
a good sign. Once you spot this lacuna, you will be determined to free
yourself from the clutches of your past. You should ask yourself, what is
holding you back and what is the value of such a memory? Once you process
these emotions, you create a clear sense of purpose to move on.
- You
should learn to forgive people from the past who have caused you hurt.
Remember, it is always good to forgive people not for them but for
yourself.
- Create
daily rituals that will help you let go of the past and move on. Most
successful people have an empowering ritual routine, like cultivating a
garden, meditation, jogging, healthy breakfast, and learning new things.
Once you start practising these rituals regularly, it will prepare you to
build momentum and lead an extensive reconstruction.
- Shift
your focus to positives in your life and take back control of your life.
It is only you who has all the power to control your actions and
behaviour. So shift your focus to the present and future rather than being
consumed with your past.
- The
best way to let go of the past is to focus on the present and work on
personal growth and development. So think through your plans like
professional growth or personal relationships and work upon them.
- The
best way to move forward in life is to surround yourself with positive
people. There is something called the law of attraction, which means that like attracts the like, and
what you conceive in your mind, the universe helps you achieve the same.
And letting go of your past will become more difficult when you surround
yourself with negative people in life.
- Do
not live your living by comparing your past and present. Your past may not
be glorious, but your present can be. So stop seeking comfort from your
past and live a life with a promising future and encouraging
present.
- Last but not least, align yourself with a larger purpose in life. It is a good habit to attach some meaning to life. It could be helping the needy or those who are underprivileged. Or it could be working for the cause of society or it could be working for old age. If you give it to people and society, you will get satisfaction from within. It will give you all the reasons and strength to move on in life.
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