How to stop saying yes when you want to say no?

 

It happens quite often that we say yes to things that we do not want to do, or say yes to. Sometimes we feel obligated, or indebted and other times we just cannot say no. But why? Did you ever realize why this happens? Is it to please others, or is it our habit to say yes, or we have been conditioned to say yes always as saying no will make you an outlier? Reasons could be many, but ultimate truth is that we should learn to say no. 

 As they say, you should live your life on your own terms and conditions and not for anyone else. We often feel guilty when we do not fit in the opinion of others or when we say no to things as we fear judgement. Howsoever, it is important to understand that if we live a life full of fear, the anxiety of being judged or refused or condemned, we will ultimately lose our own peace and respect. So you should focus on your happiness first as they say happiness is a choice and choose to be happy. But how to be happy again? The answer lies in the art of learning to say no. So let us dig deeper and understand how we can master the art of saying no and also learn how to say no without feeling guilty!

 

Why do we end up saying yes even when we want to say no?

There are many reasons that stem primarily from our psychology:

• The fear of being judged, or disliked or looked down up.
• We often say yes as it has become our habit to say so and we have been conditioned to say yes as saying no is looked down upon.
• We may say yes more often than not because we want to please others. 
• We feel that when we say no, people will dislike me, or disapprove of me.
• Sometimes we say yes to as we do not want to disappoint others. You do not to be a bad person and hurt others by saying no. 

 Okay, so there may be other reasons as well, and when you sit and contemplate, you will get to know where this behaviour stems from. But one thing is clear, the urge to say yes hints at underlying traits like low self-esteem, self-confidence and low self-respect. It also shows that you do not prioritize yourself and your happiness. While it is good to help others, and stand by them but not always. You have all the right to say yes or no and you should exercise your judgement regardless of what the other person will think. 

 

How to say no without feeling guilty?

 

Saying no does not make you a bad person.

One more thing I want to clear is that saying no does not make you a bad person. And this is the first thing to understand if you want to learn to say no. If someone is close to you and you say no to that person, he or she will understand that you actually do not want to do something. As a kid, you freely said no to things you did not like. But now as a grown-up, you find it difficult to say no. So what has changed? Think over it. You are now an adult and you have all the right to say yes or no as per your comfort level.

 

Is saying yes always worth it?

The second thing that you should know to learn to say no without feeling guilty is to understand that saying yes is not always worth it. No, it is not worth it. When you say yes to something you do not want to do, you rip yourself of your own happiness. It is like an injustice that you let happen to yourself. In the end, you will feel terrible about it and regret doing something you never wanted to do. So why do such a thing that will make your feel disgusted and snatch your peace of mind? If you understand this you will learn to say no and that too without guilt. 

 

You should know your value!

If you choose to say no, it means that you respect your likings and disliking and you value yourself. And there is nothing wrong with it. If you would not prioritize yourself and listen to your inner self, who else will? After all, your opinion of yourself is more important than other's opinion of you. 

 

So now you know these three things, you should understand your value, respect your own feelings and learn to say no. Saying no will ultimately give you peace of mind, impart eternal happiness and empower you. This way you can have more control over your life and your own self.